I’ve got a confession to make.
I’m a dude.
And I’m not Amber.
I’m Amber’s husband.
We have a dilemma, you see. This dilemma began about a year and a half ago when Amber first began to conceptualize Women Create Weekly. She had this vision of helping women identify their own inner beauty. She envisioned finally giving herself mental and physical space to create. With a peaceful “knowingness” pulsing through her veins, she envisioned the lives she would change for the better. Finally, she would be a force for beauty in the world.
Then the tumult of voices started. Well, Amber dear, this is a business, is it not? Well, it should be, and if you are going to create a business, you must develop a pricing plan. You must create a mailing list. You really ought to develop a tiered pricing plan. Offer more value but no discounts. You wouldn’t want to cheapen your worth, would you? You have to post to social media 1,378 times a day, and know all the right hashtags so everyone can find you. You must be making money within six minutes of starting.
If not, you’re a failure.
Do I fault her for trying to make money in this business venture? No. Do I fault her for trying to start a business plan or develop a membership? No.
I fault her for listening to the “should” voices in her mind. I fault her for believing the voices that told her that because she didn’t belong to the tenth of a tenth of a tenth of a percent club (of those who have such smashing success their first try), she was a failure.
So, you see, what started as a beautiful, wonderful, uplifting, beauty-inspiring thing has become tainted by the negative voices in her head.
Ever been there?
I sure have. I kinda sorta used to but still do (i.e., maybe in the future when I’m not so busy) write novels in my “free” (ha!) time.
Those same voices told me my book was lousy because only 50 or so people bought it.
Those same voices point out my old novelist friends that I learned with who now have books in Barnes and Noble.
You could have been there, they said. But you’re weak. You failed.
So I know these voices well, you see.
And I know their kryptonite.
It is this:
Get out of your head. Get into your hands.
Amber, for the last 18 months, has spent way too much time in her head, listening to the business voices telling her what she should do and how she was failing. The whole point of this venture was to fill her soul with joy through creating. And now, she is spending every spare thought thinking about what she should do and what she is failing to do that she doesn’t even create. Which is the reason for the whole endeavor. For HER to create.
She is way too into her head, listening to the voices that make her forget why she was doing this in the first place. She just felt again and again that she was failing.
Throughout this ordeal, I told her repeatedly, “Get out of your head. Get into your hands. Go create.”
She might create a time or two, then the pressure of making videos, or writing a blog post, or maintaining her subscriber list would overwhelm her and she’d default back into fretting, worrying, and berating.
And quit creating.
“I want to create a paid membership,” she’d say. “But I need to pay 10 bajillion dollars for a course in how to do memberships.”
“No,” I’d say. “You need to get out of your head. Go create.”
And she’d do it. And while doing it, I could see this joy return to her soul. But again, the voices would return.
Well, I got sick of it. I’m not normally the prescriptive type, but I was getting a bit fed up with dispensing the same advise, over and over.
And so I forbid her from blogging. I tied her to her art desk, locked the keys to her video camera, and changed the password to her computer. (Metaphorically, of course. I’m not that punitive!)
She objected, at first. But not long after that, the burden of carrying a “business” lifted from her shoulders. Instead, the anticipation of soul-filled creation filled the vacancy left by the callous voices.
So, my dear wife’s readers, that is our story. What is to become of Women Create Weekly? We both feel that the original intent is beautiful, but we haven’t yet worked out a way for Amber to believe that “success” doesn’t mean income. Success doesn’t mean thousands of subscribers. Success doesn’t mean adoring fans filling her social media feed with accolades.
What is success?
Success is found in those moments when you are so mentally engaged in a creation that it seems to guide you.
Success is when you feel your soul lifting partway to heaven while your hands remain behind shaping a piece of wood with a chisel or caressing canvas with a paint brush.
Success is that feeling of “rightness” and beauty that comes only through being in your element. Success comes when you sit in your living room admiring that work of art you created; a piece so perfectly tailored to your quirks and preferences that it is impossible to find at a store.
Have you been there?
Do you want to be there?
Well, I hope Amber can guide you.
But in the mean time, we need to figure Amber out. We need to find a way that she can guide you without feeling the crushing negative self talk.
Any ideas? We gladly welcome it.
In the mean time, I hope you follow Amber on Instagram. She has a mandate from me to create every day. And she’s not allowed to come back until her soul is restored.
Pray for her recovery, my dear friends.
Now. Go create. Get out of your head—the voices that say you can’t or shouldn’t or that you’re not skilled or don’t have time or don’t deserve to create. Tell those voices to take a hike and…
DO SOMETHING!
Go create. Beauty awaits.
Now AMBER:
Isn’t he wonderful?? Dustin wrote that 2 weeks ago. For 2 weeks I’ve let Women Create Weekly sit.
Those 2 weeks were calming to my soul, and I feel happier than I have in quite a while.
I’m back. And here’s the difference: I have quieted the negative self-talk, and I’ve rekindled the feeling of possibility.
Would you watch this video?
Then click on the survey button below. It would mean a lot for my soul to hear back from you.
Thank you for everything. I love that you’re on this journey with me.
p.s. Click here if the survey button doesn’t work for you!
p.p.s. Thank yoooooooou!
Leave a Reply