Unexpected Mixtures

I used to think that given enough time I could make anyone like me.

Years ago, I sat on the brown couch in my Oklahoma home, sitting across from someone that my husband and I had offended.
I invited her over so we could work it out and be on good terms again.
We talked, and the tension eased.
I was so glad we worked it out.

But as time progressed, the same awkwardness returned.

Why?

We’d gotten on the same page…

What I didn’t realize was my need to have her like me.
I wasn’t comfortable enough with myself to have her dissatisfied with me.
But it was her choice how to show up.

Looking back, it was my choice too.
And I harbored emotions without realizing it.
I’m sure there was body language or things that didn’t communicate full acceptance and friendship.
How could I expect her to love and accept me if I wasn’t doing that for her?

Fast forward a few years, I’ve offended another person.
(Do we see a pattern here??)
I also invited her over.
She came, and shared with me that if we could get through this we would be the best of friends.
We tearfully reconciled.
And we are unique and very different.
But I love her.
I see her goodness, not her weakness now.
She’s selfless and wonderful.
Because that’s how I see her.
Truth be told, that has nothing to do with her.
The love that I feel for her is just showing what I feel inside– how I feel about myself.
I am able to love her because I love myself more.
I am able to forgive her weaknesses because I’m learning to forgive myself.

All around us my friend, are beautiful women.
Not supermodels to intimidate us.
Women who are kind-hearted, hard-working, and loving, inside and out.
We all look different, we all have tempers and flaws and strengths and personalities.
We have flows and seasons– of joy, depression, triumph and sorrow.

Are we going to be together?

In this video, I never would have thought that those bright oranges and peaches and golds would mix together.
But it was my favorite one of all.

Perhaps the unexpected friendships are the ones we can cherish the most.
Who can you reconcile with today?
You may just create your favorite painting yet.