I am learning to follow through

When it comes to expectations of others, I am THERE.
If people are depending on me, I follow through.
I am dependable, hardworking and loyal.

But not to myself.

Somehow, amidst the clamor of kids requests and external commitments, I disappear.
What are my desires? What are my dreams? And shower? Who has time to shower?

Sure, I get photo clients taken care of with astounding punctuality.
My kids get to soccer practice and scouts mostly on time.
I help my husband when he needs me.

But it feels like I’m forgetting something.

Oh, that’s right.
Me.

Do you know what is pretty amazing, though?
Since I began Women Create Weekly this year, I have chosen to do ME.

Me.

I have spent time on things that bring me joy and release.
On paper it doesn’t make sense to put this much time into little old me.

And I’m not good at it yet.
This journey is about creating.
But I haven’t felt I’ve really pushed myself in creating yet.
Not what I envision at least.

Yesterday I recorded a simple video of me opening some books I ordered.
That would have been an easy answer to my weekly video.
Simple, done.
I wanted simple.
But afterwards I didn’t feel it was the right fit.
Sure, I can share books I adore.

But isn’t this whole endeavor about CREATING?
So… shouldn’t I get to it?

What is holding me back? Nothing I guess.
For a while I used my unfinished office as an excuse… but that’s finished.
So I pulled out my camera and paints, and just DID it.

Not perfect, not earth shattering.
But I painted.
I’m making progress.
And this is another step in my creative journey– I chose courage.

I am grateful for each of you, my sweet readers.
I am happy to be making these paintings for my first email subscribers.
I adore them, and I adore you.

Here is my process of painting… sped up to about 1600%. 😉

I loved it so much I turned it into a lock screen for your phone. Just click on the image below and download/save.
It’s the first one I’ve made.

Will you let me know if it works for your phone?? And if you love using it?

 

 

And as BIG thank you to me, would you mind sharing me with the world?
I just know there are wonderful people I haven’t even met.
She will bring so much to our little create community.
I can’t wait to meet her.